Article
Starting a new year can be tough—especially when you’re disabled or chronically ill.
Right now, your social media feeds might be full of people talking about their wins from 2024, their huge list of goals for 2025, and people obsessed with kicking off the year “strong”. No matter what these goals are, as someone with an energy impairment, I can’t help but feel lesser when I see the pressure a lot of other people put on themselves to achieve.
And that’s not to say I don’t want to also kick butt this year: there is so much I want to do. I literally already have several pages of short- and long-term goals, in my business, in my advocacy, in my online presence, and in my personal life. Disabled and chronically ill people obviously have goals too, just like anyone else: but it can be hard to recognise our capacity might be a little different—even from others who are also disabled and chronically ill.
It's easy to compare yourself to others. You might think:
Why aren’t I doing that? Why didn’t I get that opportunity? Maybe I’m just not good enough, or doing enough.
And it’s hard in this world of social media, where most people only share their wins, and not the struggles they had to go through for those wins to take place.
That’s why it’s important to view goal-setting and a new year with a disabled and chronically ill lens. Because the truth is, even though things might look different and feel more challenging, we can achieve incredible things, too.
How can I set goals that work with my chronically ill body?
Take some time to sit down and think about the things you might like to do. Maybe you might want to create some art, poetry or music, or learn a new instrument. Maybe you want to cook new recipes, or visit new places. Maybe you want to find a job, start your own business, or contribute towards advocacy and lived experience work. Maybe you want to start some new habits, learn a language, or enter a competition. We all have different bodies and different capacity: but that doesn’t mean we can’t dream big!
As an autistic person, I am a huge fan of lists. So when it comes to goal-setting, I like to do a big brain dump of all the things I want to achieve, no matter how big or small. Then, I refine it, and think about steps and actions that could lead to me achieving those goals. A brain dump doesn’t mean you have to do everything you think of—it’s just a good way to give you some ideas! And it can become a master list of things I might like to work on over a number of years. It means the ideas are safely out of my brain, and ready for them when I need them.
So, now you’ve got some goals. But how do you achieve them with a chronically ill body?
Rest is vital. But it’s also incredibly frustrating. I often feel a lot of anger or resentment towards my body, when I just don’t have the energy for the things I want to do. It can be really upsetting, especially if you’re an ambitious person with a body that isn’t cooperating with your goals. Firstly, it’s important to make space for these feelings. It does suck. It’s not fair. It can be hard trying to work on goals, when sometimes existing is too much. You might wonder how you’ll ever achieve anything again—I know I was certainly in that boat when I first developed chronic pain and illness.
But the thing is: we don’t have to fit ourselves into non-disabled boxes or expectations. Work however works best for you. And if you can use adaptive technology or support to make achieving your goals easier, absolutely do it.
I jumped into my own business to have the time to look after my well-being, rest, pace, and to be able to make a difference through my work. And while I do often feel bad I can’t do more, by pacing and doing things my way, I have been able to achieve a lot. I truly believe a lot of that comes down to my goal-setting, and the way I keep track of my goals.
Because I’m autistic, exhausted, and have terrible brain fog and memory, I rely a lot on lists and whiteboards. I have a monthly whiteboard, weekly whiteboard, and use those to write daily lists, and keep track of what I’ve done or need to do. I also have one whiteboard specifically for upcoming projects and tasks I need to do, so I can remember them. And then, when I have energy, I complete what little tasks I can. Sometimes, I can’t do anything. But sometimes, I can. Even little bursts of energy can make a big difference over a year!
Be kind to yourself
Your well-being matters more than any goal you can kick—but I know how hard it can be when you just can’t do the things you want to. It can feel pretty crappy, especially if you see other people achieving things. But remember: we all work at our own pace. We all deserve to be able to rest, particularly when rest is seen as a radical thing in our world. And we have to remember to not judge ourselves by someone else’s highlight reel.
As someone living with complex mental illness, not being able to do things can be really hard to cope with. But we are so much more than what we can do. And if we rest, we’ll be able to focus our little energy on the things that matter most to us.
Some final tips for setting goals with chronic illness
Remember: it might be a new year, but it doesn’t have to be a new you. The same you is already perfect! The end to one year and start of another is just an arbitrary passing of time. You aren’t a failure if you aren’t leaping out of the gate when a fresh year hits, because let’s face it: the holiday season is exhausting. Existing is exhausting!
But if you do want to give paced goal-setting a go, here are some quick tips:
- Working your butt off is not sustainable, especially for those of us with energy impairments. Listen to your body, and take breaks when you need to. If you can break tasks into smaller tasks, even better!
- Try body doubling! Doing tasks with someone either in-person or online can be a great way to keep each other on task, especially if you’re neurodivergent.
- Try the pomodoro technique. Set a timer for 25 minutes, and focus on the task at hand for as much as you can, before resting for 5 minutes. Adjust these times as you need—but doing them in rounds, and game-ifying tasks can be super helpful!
- Get help. If you have support workers, they can help you with your goals—but often, family and friends are more than willing to help too. Connecting with community can also be great for support.
You might not kick every goal—but that’s okay! We are human. If you don’t have capacity now, write it down, and park it for when you’re ready. But it’s also okay if your goals change.
And remember to celebrate your wins! Even trying is worthy of celebration. So cut yourself some slack. Breathe. You’re doing a good job, you are enough, and you don’t need to meet someone else’s goals to be worthy.