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Despite the fact that the disabled community represents 20% of the population, we account for less than 1% of all representation on our screens.
We can’t be what we can’t see. And honestly, I never thought anyone like me would ever be on TV. Growing up, I was bullied a lot. For being autistic. For being anxious. For having a complex mental illness. I was too pale, my eyebrows were too thick, my body was too large, and I was too weird—that’s what they told me. It made it really hard to have any confidence or self-esteem, and that’s something I still struggle a lot with today—even if it might not seem like it.
I never dreamed I’d have the opportunity to co-host a TV show.
But that’s exactly what happened late last year, when All In hit our screens. If you haven’t heard of it, All In is a TV show all about disability arts, culture, and advocacy, with an all-disabled cast. I co-hosted three out of the six episodes and honestly, it was one of the coolest things I’ve ever done.
Of course, that didn’t stop me from having many panic attacks about the thought of speaking on TV. I was so anxious about what I’d look like, how I’d sound, or what people might say. Despite having a Bachelor of Journalism and a decade of professional journalism experience, my on-screen experience was rather limited. I’d been on an episode of SBS Insight, the BBC’s World’s Deadliest Weather, and a segment for 10 News on chronic pain and disability. But this time, I wasn’t the interviewee: I was the host.
I panicked about what to wear, and what to do with my hair and makeup. I worried about accessibility, especially being an autistic chronically ill ambulatory wheelchair user. I worried I’d mess up, and everyone would hate me, or judge me. In the end, I just threw on a dress, did my makeup on the train, and made it work.
I rolled to the studio on my first day (thank you, portable ramps), nervous as hell. We were on stage, behind a big desk, with several studio cameras and lights staring down at us. We donned microphones, tested sound levels and camera shots, supported by a whole team of industry experts. And then it was time to start.
Words began rolling on the teleprompter, and despite my nerves, I fell into my professional storytelling self. Shockingly, I was actually . . . good?
It feels weird to say that about myself. We kind of have a culture where we’re encouraged to not celebrate ourselves. But I actually enjoyed it so much—and it was fun! Unlike serious news shows, I was able to crack jokes, and improvise. The more episodes we filmed, the more confident I became. I felt excited—honoured, really.
And I also felt . . . hope. That maybe I could do this—and that excites me so much. I believe our stories have so much power, and while I love writing, supporting people to share their stories in their own words—on a much larger platform—is incredibly powerful. And I really want to be a part of that! I’m hoping this is only the beginning.
It was also so, so, so amazing connecting with other disabled creatives and leaders. It’s not often we get to be in a room together—so that was special and powerful. I feel so grateful to have had this opportunity, and to have met and interviewed so many incredible disabled artists, musicians and advocates—especially people who otherwise wouldn’t have been seen in mainstream media, but who are doing important work—like Liel K Bridgeford, Larissa McFarlane, Charlie Lane, Angelina Mirabito, GK, Siobhan Mcginnity, Fionn Skiotis, Saint Ergo, Dr Victoria Borg, Janice Florence, Nat Bartsch.
And this is exactly why producer and musician Eliza Hull created All In.
“Disabled voices are often overlooked, and our representation is limited,” Eliza said.
That's why ALL IN was so powerful and necessary—it gave us the opportunity to hear directly from disabled people about what truly matters to us. The experience was incredibly meaningful.
“Beyond the show, we also built a supportive community, with friendships forming and giving us all something to look forward to each week.”
One of my fellow co-hosts, activist and community advocate Shannon Meilak, said the film industry has very few opportunities for people with disability.
“There is an assumption that we can’t do the job, or there’s simply a lack of support,” Shannon said.
All In gave me a chance to return to the industry I love, and try something new—presenting on a panel show, which I’ve always wanted to do.
“Shows like All In are important to help change the narrative. People with disability are often not heard or valued in our society, and this show gives us a platform to share our unique views and experiences.”
Another fellow co-host, Lachlan Girdlestone, said it was fantastic to have the opportunity to host again, after having hosted a musical in high school five years ago. Initially, Lachlan wasn’t sure he could do it.
“But I suddenly thought: well, wait a second. Let’s think this through. I think I can manage, even if I’m a little rusty,” Lachlan said.
“It was good to host again, and it did help me build my confidence, and was a good next step to my career as an actor.”
I wish I could include thoughts from all the people involved in the show. Some I reached out to were unable to give comment due to time constraints. But many spoke of how the show helped them build confidence, build connections, and even find additional industry opportunities. Co-host John O’Donnel, for example, has gone on to have his own segment on Joy FM. I’m personally hoping to pitch my own show: I want to keep telling stories, keep advocating for change on a national level, and ensure diversity in media. Really, I just want to keep using my lived experience to make a difference.
Looking back at All In, it’s really powerful at what can happen when a whole punch of passionate disabled creatives get together. I hope we can create more opportunities like this—because disabled people deserve to be seen and heard in all areas of life: especially the media.
I really want to thank everyone involved—our producers Matt Field and Eliza Hull. Our incredible production and filming team. Our comms and media team. And of course, all the exceptional talent we had on the show, including other co-hosts Adam, Niki, Phoebe, and James.