(unknown speaker) 0:00
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Beck 0:25
Beck, Hello, good afternoon. My name is Beck. I'm here to talk about life on the spectrum about autism, and I like to also talk about the show. So let me start that I was diagnosed later in life with autism. Always kind of knew I had autism, but wasn't diagnosed until two years ago, but I was born with an intellectual disability, so I was diagnosed with intellectual disability at the age of six, and... but I'm not with the, but the autism wasn't diagnosed until later on. I feel with autism there is a lack of awareness. There's not enough awareness around autism, and people have the wrong opinions of what they think what autism is, but a lot of people don't know what it, what autism is.
One of my barriers, one of my things,barriers would be when I'm out and about, in public, I have to wear noise cancellation headphones because certain noises and smells set my sensories off and causes me to stress out. So when I'm out in the public walking around, I have to wear headphones just to block off all the noises around me, because it is a, it's a sensory issue for myself, and it... causes me to stress and also affects my moods and how I feel - so, and people look at me funny when I'm walking with my headphones, because they don't understand why I walk around with headphones and don't listen to them or talk to them or acknowledge them. That's because the noises around me are causing me to have high stress, so I have to have my headphones on to block out all the noise.
So whenever you see me walking around with headphones, I don't acknowledge you, don't assume it's because I'm... ignoring you. It's because the noises around me set off my sensory senses, and that's why I have the headphones on them. Public transport can be very scary for myself, because,again, it's the noise, I have to wear headphones - and sometimes when I'm in a bus or a train, it can if it's overcrowded, my anxiety levels go so high that I just need to get off it, off the train or on the bus as soon as possible, because I can't my I can't stand to be around a lot of people. So it's... and again, and that's the sensory thing, and that's because of anxiety.
Also, I want to talk about bit about dating - and people assume, because I have a disability, that I don't date - which is not true, I do date. It's just dating can be... can be tricky at sometimes and difficult due to, again, social anxiety and also being... going out into the public or somewhere like a pub or a restaurant can cause my sensory issues to me to stress out. But lucky enough, I have a caring boyfriend, so I finally found my person, I guess, so he really understands me. He comes from a different culture background... so we're both, we both come from different culture backgrounds, and he understands my autism. And since he's come into my life, he has changed my life around - I'm now starting to gain more confidence in myself and gaining more confidence in going places, with trying, without... less stressing.
So he has been, he's helped me a lot in my life to over... help overcome my anxiety. And we, like I said, we do have fights, but we, you know, we... work them out, so, which is good. But yeah, he's... been my... rock, I'll be definitely lost about if I didn't have in my life, he's this... he's been part of my life since, I guess since [?] my Mum was diagnosed with cancer... and he's been there, supporting me and helping me, yeah and yeah, even though it's sometimes...our relationship does got some of the issues we I think we do have is that he's he we're at is a distance, because he lives here in Melbourne. I live in regional Victoria, so that's one of the issues. So we don't get a lot of chances to see each other. But yeah, we do talk a lot on the phone, and the times we do spend together, I we, I enjoy so much, but, yeah, but... there's a lot of...
I guess a lot of people sometimes think that because you have a disability, that we don't date, we don't have relationships, we don't... and... that's because they, that's just their way of thinking them. And I want to put the record clear that people with disability do date. So don't ever assume we don't, and that sometimes dating to us can be what especially myself, with autism is a tricky thing, but once you find that person who, I guess a person who can accept your disability, and I've looked at the issues of the disability, it's a good thing. So, you know, I didn't think I'd find my soulmate, but, you know, I'm happy I have... and yeah.
And another thing is also forming, not just relationships, but also friendships. That can be a difficult thing, I think... because I've been judged so much when it comes to finding friends. Friendship, it with people in general, it's very hard. Some I you know, some people are happy friends with me and can overlook my autism. Others can't, and then just... they end up just not being part of my life, but... I think the one thing I find when it comes to building friendship, it's the social anxiety that stops that from happening, and trying to find the connection with people who have got things in common with.
In cases like, I have been very lucky, where I found some people who I've had stuff in common with, and we've made good friends, and other times I haven't. I've met other people that I haven't had that connection with. So some people are accepting of my disability. Others aren't, and that's okay, because you know... not, you know, it's just part of life. So yeah, if... the one thing like I keep saying is awareness is needed, and building awareness around that and understanding instead of just criticising.
So if you ever see a person walking down the street with headphones, not even talking or not even acknowledging you, or acting differently or sitting on their own and not talking with others... don't ever, you know, don't assume that they don't want to do they don't want to socialise, or don't want to be around people. It could, because they could have a disability, they could have mental illness, or they could have autism. I've had a lot of criticism over the years, so yeah, over all, because of things I do, whether it be writing stuff on the internet, writing stories up or writing a comment, people come in and criticise me because the way I talk - but it's just the way, you know... because they don't understand why I'm... the way I talk.
So, yeah, but you know, maybe what people need to do is just get up and talk to, so we see someone sitting on their own, you know, maybe go over and say hi to them, make them... just have the conversation with them. Instead of sitting there and criticising what they're doing, or just looking at them funny, and... go over and start the conversation. Because with people with high social anxiety, it's very hard for us to just start the conversation, so we kind of expect others to start that conversation. And once you get to know me, the person, I'm actually free, open. So I'm pretty an open person. Once I start you know you get to know me, but never, ever criticise us or put us down or look at us differently just because... you know we look a certain way, act a certain way. Once you get to know people with disabilities or persons even with mental illness, because...
I just don't have a disability, I have mental illness as well. So I've been battling depression pretty much all my life and so that also is a barrier for me, too - because, you know, it's hard for me to I have to sometimes with my depression, I have to sit in my room at home, and sometimes my Mum doesn't understand why I sit in my room, and I just, I want to sleep, or just sit there quietly, because my depression is so bad I can't face what's outside. And that's where I love to see more awareness around mental illness, because I have that on top of my disability, and it can be very hard, and it can, you know... that's why I want to see more awareness around disability as well as mental illness, because it goes hand in hand. As simple as that, you know.
And I've been fighting mental illness, like I said, depression for years. And yeah, so I still am to this day, yeah. And so it's... I started suffering from depression from a young age of, I think it's like 15, maybe 14, when I had when I was diagnosed with depression, and all doctors wanted to do was just push me on medication, and that just made it ten times worse. But I've lost good friends because of it. That's why we need to talk around the table about mental illness, but yeah, as well as autism, but all types of disability, not just one type, and all types of disability need to be talked about - so you know, so people can... have an understanding and not treat us or put us aside or or bully us, or just, you know, assume things about us.
If there is more awareness out there, I feel people will have more of an understanding about the issues about mental health as well as disability. If you'd like to learn more about autism, I highly recommend watching Life on the Spectrum. It does go into depth about dating and life in general for people with autism, because autism looks different. It's different in different people. So, I mean, I don't know, I've heard about this masking - now I don't have masking. Masking is where you lie, you're supposed to lying, and then the truth comes out something. But I don't have, I don't do that, as far as I know. I don't do it. But that's just one of... some people do.
Another one is stimming. So stimming is where you're drumming or you're hitting yourself, and that's another form of autism, but I don't do stimming either. So yeah, my autism is different to a lot of others. So yeah, don't ever say all autisms are the same because they're different and they're on different spectrums all together. So I'd like to thank you for listening today, and thank you for your time. And I hope together we can help build awareness. So I hope I helped you all understand a little bit more about autism and about mental health as well as I put that in there. And thank you so much. Bye.
(unknown speaker) 12:44
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