Activism, Altruism and Autism … with Khadija Gbla

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Access Granted is a production for Powerd Media.

Emma 00:11

Welcome to Access Granted - a podcast for anyone seeking inclusion when it comes to living with disability. I'm MMIS, and in this episode, I speak with the woman whose bodily autonomy was taken from her when as a teenager - she went through female genital mutilation, sparking her activism to try and end this practice. 

Khadija 00:40

I just remembered my mom coming home and telling me and my sister that we were going for little holiday, which wasn't a holiday, and she paid this older lady to then perform the act of female genital mutilation, which is the cutting of our literacies.

Emma 00:55

Born in Sierra Leone in West Africa, Khadija Gbla came to Australia as the refugee at the age of 13. She is now a renowned speaker, human rights activist and compassionate thought leader who also lives with chronic pain. Access Granted is where the personal and the political collide. It's curious conversations between people living with disability, hearing about advocacy, the push for change, and discussing ideas for a more accessible world. You're listening to access granted with Emma Myers, I don't want it to be too serious. So Khadija, I want to start by asking you what you were like as a child.

Khadija 01:47

I grew up with such a joy of play and creativity. I would make songs up on this spot. I would twirl. I always felt music inside me. Didn't matter where I was. There was always music inside me, playing and my body, then we moved to that music.

Emma 02:05

Staying on your childhood, what memories do you have of Africa?

Khadija 02:12

I have all my memories because my family came to Australia as refugee in 2001 and we were privileged to be given home on Kaurna land, and I give my acknowledgement to the sovereign indigenous people of this land and across Australia who may be listening. My childhood as an indigenous person to other parts of the world was beautiful. You know, from the first instance I had my mum, had my dad, had my beautiful family before the war and the civil war started. 

But my most I think, memo is our climbing trees to get mango. It was talking to my neighbors and knowing everyone. It was everyone supporting each other, feeling looked after by a village, not just my mom, you know, having all these aunties and uncles and people who step in and meet my needs in different ways, but also growing up in a cultural context where disability was viewed in a different light. Rather than being pathologised, it was constantly being told, you remind me of your uncle or your great grandfather, who also like lining up toys and who like things in patterns and and who you know didn't like too much sunlight. They like too much loud noise. 

This book could be counted on to see the patterns and to mediate. And I love that. I love that sense of not pathologising, just seeing how you remind somebody of a family member, somebody in the family, which made you feel normal, which made you feel seen, which made you feel like you were not weird, but also that whole indigenous philosophy that for every person you are, exactly who the world needs. So growing up in a cultural, indigenous context, where I was reminded that the skills I have, the characteristics I have, in fact, everything that I am as a person, including what is viewed as disabilities in the Western world, is exactly what my family needs, my community needs to thrive, because when I'm my authentic self that flows into all areas of my life. 

So those are the [?moes] I have. They're of my indigenous culture and the values they gave me, and I think those have served me being diagnosed with so many multiple disabilities, which I will listen now, because I believe you ask me medically, I like to say medical, because the medical model is just one way of explaining what I experienced. It's not the definitive way. It's not the only way. It's one way. I have medically been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, autism level three, ADHD and a bunch of other things I think you pick up along the way. You get one diagnosis, and you start picking the rest up like they're candy. 

But I like to always remind myself that those labels do not define me. They are an explainer of how I experience the world and the way the world experiences me, but they do not define me. I wish I had seen somebody who looked like me so that I knew that black little girls can be whoever they want to be, but also that they just need support to also thrive if they have challenges and barriers to accessing the community and the world around them.

Emma 05:16

And so you're a activist against FGM. So for our listeners, can you tell us what is FGM and why you're campaigning against it?

Khadija 05:32

Thank you so much for asking about that. FGM stands for female genital mutilation. It's the altering of the female genitals for non medical reasons, so that could be cultural, religious and other reasons that people give. FGM has been practiced since all the way back to the Egyptian times. It's the belief that people who have clitoris and female genitalia being inclusive of our trans and non-binary community in this conversation, that people have clitorises and female genitalia are not worthy of the full spectrum of sexual pleasure, body autonomy, dignity. 

So female genital mutilation is a violation of the rights of people with female genitalia. It's the violation of the rights of people clitoris is the it's a gender discrimination. It's child abuse and and it is, to me, one of the most brutal form of childhood abuses that exist, and it's a global problem, with 200 million survivors and counting. And this happens to little people who have no say in what's happening to them. And this can be a child who's born with ambiguous genitalia. This can be the little girl who is touching themselves and their religious parent decides that they need to have their clitorises cut off in order to teach them about morality. 

This is, these are two let's be girls who just like, who they like and what they like, and somebody deciding that a form of violence needs to take place to remind them of the natural order of life. The all these reasons don't make any sense in a world where, if I told you we were cutting off the ears of children, we will all be appalled. So why is it okay to cut off the genitals of little children who, in most cases, present as a female, which is what makes it also a form of femicide and and gender-based violence. But we also acknowledge people of all genders who may also experience different forms of female genital mutilation, and they are just as worthy of being seen and heard and included in this conversation. 

The reason why I'm passionate about stopping the act of female genital mutilation, it's because of the lack of consent and and the lack of respect of the body autonomy of children. Our society is defined by how we treat our most vulnerable, and that includes disabled but we say children are particularly vulnerable, and if you add to that, disabled children like I was, then, that adds all the elements of vulnerability and safe keeping and safeguarding that we may need in place to ensure that all children are able to thrive and live healthy and happy lives where all their body parts are intact. 

I wish in 2024 we were not talking about how we make sure the body parts of children are intact, but that is the world we live in, and we can see how that flows into conversations of disabled children and how their autonomy is taken away. Disabled adults and how our autonomy consistently taken away. We are adults capable of making decisions. But I think my FGM work is such a perfect harmony with my work around disability and being a disabled person myself. But I think at the heart of all of this is human rights for all, and I believe that to my core, and that's a value I live and I breathe.

Emma 09:00

What is your own recollection of when... female genital mutilation was administered to you?

Khadija 09:09

It's a very particular memory, and these days left so at the forefront of my mind, but I know the practice of FGM for me happened when I was between the age of nine and 10, which was quite actually late in my cultural context. But I think it also had an impact in how much of it by then, stored in my mind and my own body for all these years, and I'm still releasing some of that trauma, both in my mind and in my body as well. But I just remembered my mom coming home and telling me and my sister that we were going for little holiday, which wasn't a holiday. 

We were refugees in a refugee or unofficial refugee camp in Gambia, and we were taken to this remote part of Gambia in a village, and she paid this older lady to then perform the act of female genital mutilation, which is the cutting of our clitorises in order to purify us in her understanding, but also to ensure that we were our sexuality was controlled, so we'll be good girls who were pure divergence and normal in that cultural context that told my mom that that is what it meant to be a good mom. That is what it meant to raise good daughters, which is not true, and I have forgiven my mom for this act of absolute ignorance and not knowing better. She knows better. 

Now I know better. Now should all the girls in my family, all the people in my family who have courtesies, are safe and protected. Everyone within my influence is safe and protected, because on that day, a lot was stolen from me as a little Khadija with my autonomy was breached. I did not consent to this act. I did not need that form of violence to have control over my body or sexuality. That was for me to determine. As I grow older, that's for me to determine, and that violence, that form of trauma that has stayed with me for most of my life. 

I'm, only in the last couple of, probably 5-10, years, able to tackle that from a psychological, psychological perspective, in the way it influenced my relationship with my primary caregiver, who should have protected me the way it influenced my teenage years as I, you know, went into periods and and and saw the negative impact that had, like, numerous medical emergency visits every month, without fail, every time I had my period going up, I was consistently hospitalised, which meant I then faced medical racism in a world and community that is doesn't understand FGM, that doesn't view people who look like me as being worthy of proper treatment.

And medical racism also meant my pain as I have terrible period pains that could not be managed at home. That meant being managed with codeine and having to say to my GP, I am too young to have this level of pain be managed in such an extreme way, I deserve to live a life free of this and not how. Should have to suffer these consequences and then taking control of my own health and well being, and starting my healing and tapping into that trauma, sitting with generations of parents, grandparents, mothers and then grandfathers and uncles sitting with them and saying, This may have been part of our culture in one time or another. We know better now. 

We deserve to live in a community in a world where people who have colitis are safe, are not seen less than are not seen as people who need their sexuality control. Let's give our children education awareness experiences, not trauma. How can we hold on to the good parts of our culture, the parts that we choose because culture is changeable. Culture is chosen by us, not the other way around. How do we choose the aspects of our cultures that we can celebrate that doesn't cause harm. And how do we let go of the bits that no longer serves us, the bits that no longer have value? Because when we know better, we do better, and it is an honor to sit in those sacred spaces where generational healing can happen. 

Grandma can look at her daughter and say, I am sorry. I am sorry that I thought this was what was best, and daughter says, I accept your apology - more, oh, I'm angry, but I will do better for my daughter. This will not continue. I was 13 when I said those words to my mom, 13 year old. I said, No more, no more, because it has to stop with me. Somebody has to say, This is not okay. Somebody has to say, Sorry. We can't continue this way. 200 million and counting. Where does it stop? I said to a friend of mine the other day, shame dies, where we create safe spaces for people to share their stories, and through those stories, we change minds, we heal hearts, and we create community and connectivity, and that is my story, that of breaking the stigma of shame and silence.

Emma 14:13

You're listening to Access Granted with Emma Myers. You're a woman of colour, you're living with autism, ADHD, the consequences of FGM, all of these are the diagnosis. How do you identify and what is at the forefront of what you would like to change?

Khadija 14:42

I identify, first and foremost, as a human and if I expand on that, I am a divine being having a human experience. I think the Western world particularly loves labels, and what labels then go on to do is create a point of difference between people. You are this and you are that. We. Here and you're over there, who is in and who is out? Who is acceptable, who is not acceptable? Who fits, who doesn't fit? I didn't see that the Autistic community, whose autism is palatable, whose autism is not palatable, people see someone like me right here and go, Oh my God, look at her, but she's functional. Why can't my little cousin? Why can't my daughter behave that way? 

Your daughter is not meant to behave like me, and you don't see the things I have to do or the support I have to get me here, the village it takes, even as an adult, to live the life I have, the team who are putting this together for us, the International Day for people with disability, the Department of Social Services, all of these bits come together to make our world happen. So the labels don't matter to me. I'm first almost a human having an experience doing the best they can, and and then from there, I think it's then realising what part do I have to play to create a world I want. That's where I go to. What can I do to create connectivity rather than segregation, which I as we know as people with disability, there's so much segregation that is forced upon us. So much of putting us in in boxes. 

The NDIS is part of that system where people go, Well, that's that activity for those people. I was in a spiritual place the other day. You know where we were? You know, we danced at the park. I call this dancing meditation. And there was another man there who was there with his support worker. That gave me joy, because so often spiritual places don't allow and create accessibility for disabled people, [?Milo], and often we are told we need to be cured, we need to be fixed. So that gave me joy. Then I saw another spiritual activity I needed to go to. 

And people opposed said, You have to be fully functional, able to do things on your own. And I went, hold on a sec. Who are these people to determine that how many members of our community will not have be would not be able to access this space because of this word that is deemed used to be able to do A, B and C, to be in this space that is segregation, that is inaccessibility. I say to people all the time, I believe we as individuals are the solutions to the challenges our family, community, nation and world are facing when we show up as an our authentic self, and we share our stories, and we let that shame die, the secrecy and the silence. 

We remove those I think, we shine a light to everyone else and people around us. We role model for them, not by force, not by telling people how they should be, but by being our authentic self. We let other people be the authentic self, and that then spreads in the way we treat each other and we treat others. Having experienced so much pain in my life and so much trauma, one of the best gift I have given myself is keeping my light. None of those experiences stole my light. I kept it because that is the greatest gift I have, is to keep my light and shine it. No matter what labels are being put on me, I choose to just show up as authentically Khadija always. That's the best I can do. That's all I'm asked to do, and everything else I believe flows from there. 

But also I think self care matters, looking after ourselves before we look after other people, putting our mask on as a parent and a caregiver to a child who's also disabled, that is even more so important. I can't help my child regulate. I can't help my black, disabled child go into the world and be their best self and feel empowered by who they are to take on the world if I haven't poured into myself so that I can then pour into them from a place of regulation, grounded and love and joy, and these days, love of play and creativity for me and my little baby, loves and lots of play and creativity, because that gives me joy. And when I'm full of joy, I think I'm a better person.

Emma 19:01

I think we're all better people when we're when we're happy and joyful. So you've been chosen as an Australian Ambassador for the International Day of Disability, of people with disability. Can you describe your feelings when you were told that? What does it mean to you?

Khadija 19:28

Or I am so honoured, and I think it's an absolute privilege to have been considered for such a role. I had just come back out of four years of sick leave. I was bed bound, wheelchair bound, stuck in rumination of all the things that could go wrong, the world felt so scary. All my identities felt so unsafe. Is it safe to be a black person in the world right now? No, it's safe to be a disabled person. No, it's safe to be a woman. No, [?the tape] to be the Democrat. No, it was constantly.... I felt so unsafe. The world around me felt unsafe. I felt trapped by that. The whole world out there felt like a jungle that I couldn't navigate. I was burnt out from self sacrificing and self abandonment. 

And then this email came through, and I thought, Wow, what an honour to be able to not only honour the experiences I've just had, but to also honor this experience I'm going through as I raise a child who's also disabled, as I exist in a community full of disabled people as I provide services to disabled people to get NDIS and outside of the NDIS. But also, how do I honor my ancestors and my own heritage and my spirituality in the way I view disability as a person and the way that perception, that those indigenous modalities and way of seeing the world has been healing to me. 

But more than that, I think, how do I share with a community that so often sees people who look like me and sees pity, for example, being at the airport every time I travel for work and somebody go, Oh, it's so sad, you will tell Oh, oh, how did that happen to you? It's like nothing happened to me. Was born this way, or, Yeah, I have conditions that create this. And somebody's like, Oh, but you're so pretty. I'm like, I can be pretty and disabled at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive. Oh, but you're so happy. Disabled people can be happy. Angry is hard. 

I think those experiences is why I thought this was such an honour to say We as disabled people exist in the full spectrum of our experiences. And you know, whatever we feel, whatever ways we want to represent ourselves and express ourselves, is valid. I went to my angry stage. I have days I'm angry. I have days I'm full of joy. I have days I feel sad, but I also, often than not, feel happy, feel joy, feel grateful for my body and the things it can do, and then honor my body for the rest it needs and the support in needs, because that is perfectly okay. 

So part of this world, for me is saying to the community and the world, people disabled, belong. We exist, not for your torn upon. We don't exist to fit your paradigm. We don't exist to to be like your autistic cousin who likes Lego. I don't need to like Lego to be valid. I don't need to be your version of autism for me to be valid. I just need to be able to exist as I choose, in a way that honors me and all I need, and I think most of us, all of us need, is for people to get out of our way, to have the support we need, and to live in a community that sees us as the blessings we are, as the active contributors to our community that we are and not the reflection of everything that may happen to them, that may be happening to their family members. 

But also, please don't wait for disability to come to your life, or to be to to impact a member of your family, to think of disabled people are worthy. We are worthy every single day. We don't need an experience for us to be valid or for people to then care, because the disabled community is the only community you can be a member of at any given time. So meeting disability needs. It's actually supporting everyone around us. And disabled people are beautiful and perfect as we are. 

Emma 23:46

And what advice would you offer to a younger version of yourself back in Africa today?

Khadija 23:52

Oh, that's easy. I talk to that younger version of me every day. She's in me. She can see she's alive. I will say to the little kiddigans back in Sierra Leone, Honour the gift that is your heritage and your ancestors, because our way of life is such a beautiful gift. Our way of looking after our world and mother nature means that we have been able to look after our world in such a way that it is a gift and it can continue on and our natural medicines.

And oh, to be home and know that if you have a tummy-ache, you just boil a herb, not if pharmaceutical tablet that then gives me five other side effects I now have to manage, but a herb that simply form Mother Nature will help me get rid of diagnosis when I was here, vomiting blood for months on end, and no doctor will be able to tell me what it was I knew if I was back home that was a simple remedy to a traditional herbs man who would tell me which herb to go pick, which probably be my backyard, that I can drink. That would have stopped that completely. I will say, Honour your heritage, honoured gift that we have been given. 

But more than that, oh, being born in Africa is not a limitation. Being born black is not a limitation. It's also it's a gift. And despite the challenges our world and our community faces, May we never be the labels other givers, uncivilised, the global or, you know, Third World country. We are none of these things. We are sovereign and legitimate in our existence as a people. And our home is our home. And I feel that home, even though I am not there, because we take it with us everywhere we go in the diaspora as African people. And I honour that in my clothes, in my music, in the way I raise my child. 

And God, I can't wait to physically go back to fill my home in the way that it matters to me so but I am not as far away from that home, because my family is there. Talk to them. I mean community with them. I connect with them. I know that the little cathedrals are raising up. They are saying no to FGM. They're saying no to child, to forced child marriage. They are creating their own legacy. We're not our mothers, we're not our fathers, we're not even our ancestors. We are choosing a different pathway, where we choose the beats that work for us and then the beats we don't want we throw away. And I am inspired every day when I see what is happening and in a way compatible to the work I am doing here. 

So I'm so glad you asked that question, because I think so often the image people have of Africa is actually one that is so wrong, so wrong. We have so much to offer the world, and the world takes so much from us without consent. And what I love is that Africans are claiming back their power. We are decolonising our way of life and the things that we have been told were bad and wrong about us. And I see that with indigenous cultures here in Australia and across the world, indigenous people are rising. We're taking back our lives. We're taking back our world. We are claiming back what was taken from us, as much as also rewriting our own future, not determined by the World Bank or anyone else, determined by us, the children of Africa, wherever we're in the world, we are deciding what that future looks like. 

And I think the Western world could learn a lot from Africans and our way of life. We focus on community and people and nature and everything else flows from there. So, oh, I couldn't be more proud to have been born an African indigenous person who is privileged to be on indigenous lands. 

Emma 27:31

And just finally, what does access granted mean to you?

Khadija 27:38

Access granted, dignity. Dignity. I love dignity. I love having dignity. I love giving dignity. I love cultivating dignity. When we create access, when we have access, we are giving people dignity. We are removing the barriers that would otherwise take away their dignity and allow them a life to thrive. That's what it feels like in doing this, the dignity of being here to share my story, to share my truth in the way that honours me without barriers and limitation - that is what it means to me.

Emma 28:18

And if you've enjoyed this edition of Access Granted, let us know on Facebook at powerd media - that's powered with just one e - P, O, W, E R, D media - and you can find the next edition when it comes out next week, wherever you download your podcasts.   

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