Tommy Herschell - Find Ya Feet

Barbara Sullivan 0:02

With information on the latest developments in assistive technology and initiatives from the studios of 2RPH in Sydney and around the country on the Radio Reading Network of Australia, we bring you Ablequest. Hello. I'm Barbara Sullivan. Our guest today is Tommy Herschell, a former Queensland primary teacher, or "chalkie", as he calls it, who gave up formal teaching to run programs in schools, sporting clubs and corporate settings, to (quote), "build better blokes". 

Tommy believes men in Australia live in a culture that's been holding them back for too long. It's important to be able to be vulnerable, to share stories, to speak up and ask for help, but also to learn to love life and be equipped with tools that enable them to as he puts it own, their own stuff. Tommy founded and now leads an organization called Find Ya Feet - the term inspired by a 15 year old footballer friend Bastian, who, just before he died, said he wanted to touch the earth with my feet one more time and to tell his mates to love life and not waste it. Now, Tommy gives young people an opportunity to find their feet. His non-profit organisation runs workshops all over Australia. 

He tells Elaine Wziontek that he was a troubled teenager who could have benefited from such a program as Find Ya Feet welcome.

Elaine Wziontek 1:28

Tommy Herschell, so what inspired you to start this organisation?

Tommy Herschell 1:33

I mean, there's a few things inspired me to do it. I'm a schoolteacher by trade, a chalkie as I call it - and I'm a bit of an old school chalkie, I'm a bit of an old school teacher, and now I love uniform, I love structure, I love discipline. I think all of those things, they drive people, they allow people to be the best that they can be. And in my first few years of teaching were great. They were what I always hoped it to be. But then I just sort of started to see a lot of holes in the system, where, as school teachers, we weren't allowed to know what was going on with our young people in... and I use the analogy, it's a little bit like a car salesperson not being able to look under the bonnet or inside the vehicle. 

And it's the same with young people. I didn't know what was going on for my students. Had a young fella at a school who was showing up every day, and he was exhausted, he was no good. And I kept asking him what's going on. And eventually, one day, I just said, Look, to this young fellow, What's happening, mate? And he told me, he said, Look, Mom and Dad argue a lot, and they drink and they beat me up a bit, and I camp on the couch a lot, and I don't get much sleep. 

And... the minute, he told me that, I was able to help him out a lot more, and I put a lounge at the back of the classroom, and he'd come in and he'd sleep for the first hour of the day and, and when he came back from that, he was just a totally different student. He was amazing. He was, his productivity went through the roof. His schoolmates knew what was going on for him, so instead of bullying him and teasing, they got around him.

And... I guess that, for me, was the inspiration to go from a teacher that was concerned about what was happening between 9am in the morning and 3pm to a teacher that was, you know, more concerned about what was happening between 3pm and 9am the next morning, because I felt that that's where we were probably lacking in the education system and and then I sort of saw that played out as well with my mates and blokes in my life, a lot of fellas won't tell you what's going on, and they won't give you any insight into what's going on, but the minute that we find out what's going on for our friends, we can be there to help them. We can be there to get around, and we can empathise with them. We can understand them. 

So that's what inspired Find Ya Feet. I was really lucky as well enough to meet a young man called [?Bas Module]. And... he passed away with Ewing sarcoma. But he did this amazing thing on the day that he passed - he said to his mum and dad, I want you to, I just want to touch the earth with my feet one more time. And, and when he did that, he looked at his mum and he said, Mum, tell my mates to love life and don't waste it. When she told me that story, I remember I just wasn't loving life. I was wasting it. And... what Bastian did was he gave me a moment to stop and find my my own feet for a few minutes and think about who I wanted to be. 

And that's what I do. I go into schools and workplaces and sporting teams, and we stop for a couple of hours and and I give people an opportunity to find their feet and to learn what's going on in their their classmates' or their peers' or their colleagues' lives. And we cover three things. I give them a platform to tell their story or to listen to others. I give them an opportunity to own their behaviors or empathise with others, and then the skills to be able to leave a workshop and have that one conversation that that might save a life or change a life. 

To finish off on that question, the one thing I think is really important is, you know, it's great that people can say, Hey, I've got anxiety, or I've got this, or I've got that... Find Ya Feet is old school in the sense that says, Alright, well, what are we going to do about it? We can't just sit back and use that and excuses to not be going anywhere or not be getting anything done. Let's own it, and then let's do something about it so it gives our mates the tools to do that and... but ourselves as well... and be able to take ownership of our behaviour. 

There's a lot of organisations that I saw out there that we're doing, you know, ticking a lot of boxes. But I sort of, I'm a bit old school. Come from Queensland, and we're a bit different up there. You know, we only had colour TV for the last few months. And... I just saw an opportunity to to get out into the into the wider community and... take this workshop all over the place and and do something a little bit different. At the first school I started was in a little town called Narromine in central New South Wales, and it's slowly grown from there to now workshops in far north Queensland and Northern Territory, Perth and all over New South Wales.

Elaine Wziontek 5:30

And teenage years are tough for a lot of us to go through. Would you have benefited? What sort of a teenager were you?

Tommy Herschell 5:38

My parents split when I was when I was young, when I was 10, and I owned that for them in a weird way. I felt responsible when I wasn't with my dad. He moved to Far North Queensland. When I wasn't with him, I felt sorry for him, so I wanted to be with him. And then when I was with him, I felt sorry for my mom, so I wanted to be with with her. So all of my teenage life, I chased either one of them and their approval. And, you know, that's a really unhealthy behavior, especially for a young person. You know, as a young person you're meant to be chasing the TV remote control so you can watch, you know, cartoons after you finish school, before you go to footy training or surfing and... you know, I did do a lot of that as well, but in my head, in my heart, I was always looking and searching. 

And then those behaviors that were really unhealthy turned into other unhealthy behaviours, which was a lot of drinking and... only because I just didn't have the skills to be able to deal with with my stuff. I was a smart aleck in school, to the teachers, I was rude, I was disrespectful, but a lot of the time I was I was just trying to get attention and I was trying to fit in. I was angry. I was doing all those things and, and if I had someone like, I guess myself, and I'm getting around now, to be able to sit in a room with all my mates and be able to tell them, Hey, boys, like, the reason I come to school and I do what I'm doing is because I'm I'm sad, I'm scared, I miss my dad, but I don't know how to tell you guys. And, and this is the way I behave because of it. 

I actually had a workshop when I was about 35, I did one of my first workshops at my old school, and I invited one of my old classmates, who's always been a great mate, but as a young fellow, he knew I was a real cheeky fella, and he struggled to spend a lot of time with me. And he said to me after the workshop, because in the workshop, I said, you know, in front of, this is in front of, you know, 30 or 40 year eight boys, I said my whole story and told that, and my mate looked at me in front of all these boys, and said, Tommy, if you'd said that when we were back at high school, we would have had an opportunity to understand you a lot more and get around you and support you, instead of we all thought you were such a smartarse, and we all thought you were so loose and out of control. And yeah, he said, I wish I knew that back then. So, yeah, would I have benefited? For sure.

Elaine Wziontek 7:45

So I guess as parents, we probably don't encourage boys to talk about their feelings and talk about whether they're being bullied or so you you're teaching kids in these workshops to sort of open up.

Tommy Herschell 7:56

Yeah, for sure. So there's a whole new age. It's sort of happening, which is great, and getting people to talk about this stuff and and about getting bullied and things like that. But I think the thing that I love, well, I know the thing I love the most about find your feet is, is it makes people take action. We can sit and bellow about the sun forever and but, you know, it's up to us to go and put a hat on our head and sunscreen on, isn't it? And I guess that's what this is about. It's about being able to say, Alright, a young person can sit in front of us and they can say, we're getting bullied, teased, and this that and the rest, and, you know, another boy will own it. 

But then it's up to me to be able to say to this young fellow, Well, what are we going to do about what can we do next? And it might be see the school counsellor or give them the tools and skills to work out that the boys that are bullying them. They've got stuff going on as well, and you don't need to be around them and being able to show that there's discipline for that sort of behavior as well, and and for them to be able to accept that, yeah, I guess that's the number one thing that you know. This workshop and this work, it gives people the skills to be really proud of the fact that they can go, Yeah, my behaviour is poor, or, Yeah, I'm getting bullied, and this is what I'm going to do about it.

Elaine Wziontek 9:03

So you're being very practical by the sound of it.

Tommy Herschell 9:06

Hopefully. You know, I was lucky. I sort of grew up in a home where, when I was crook, you just had to sort of get on with it, which isn't always a good thing. And my wife will probably say you need to be a little bit more caring and kind in those situations with our kids these days. And I do, for sure, but I guess I like as well that skill of being able to go Alright, well, what am I going to do about this?

Elaine Wziontek 9:26

What happens in these workshops? What happens?

Tommy Herschell

You know, it's a really the thing that I love about it is, now I talk with the people instead of talking to them. I don't proclaim to be an expert or anything like that. I think when workshops are run, and people say, Hey, I'm an expert in this and that, well, straight away, people go, Oh gosh, I'm not going to say anything because I'm scared I'll get it wrong. So I straight away, I'm really vulnerable with the young fellas and the young people that I work with are the people I work with in general, and and I use a bit of humour just to sort of break down the environment a bit and make them know that I'm not a schoolteacher in front of them at the time, but I give them an opportunity to sort of see where we're going wrong as fellas. 

You know, when someone sits down with a group of blokes and they say, Oh geez, boys, I'm battling with this or that, a lot of the time, will say, Oh gosh, you know, I don't know what to say, so I won't say anything. Or I don't know what to say, so I'll say something silly. So it's sort of making them realise that, look, we've got to get better at that, and then I'll give an opportunity to find their feet. So I say, Look, we're not going to do any talking at all, but I'm going to ask you a few questions, and if you can relate to it, I'd simply want you to stand up where you are, and you don't have to talk at all. 

And in a room for 30, 40 blokes... I had a football team the other day up in far north Queensland that were, I said, Find Ya Feet if, if you've ever been in trouble, you know a lot of them stood up. Take a stand. If you've ever said anything to someone to offend them. It's very easy to stand up to these ones. But then it dives into stuff like, find your feet. If you've ever felt anxiety, find your feet. If you've ever let someone down, Find Ya Feet if you feel your productivity could be better. All of these questions. 

And then I finish it up with two that are really big, which you Find Ya Feet if you're always there for your mates. And a lot of them will stand up, and blokes will almost beat their chest... and Find Ya Feet if you've ever had stuff going on, but you haven't reached out. And you know, a lot of them will stand up and I'll say, Well, tell me why you don't reach out. And I say, Don't want to be a burden. Don't want to be judged mice. You're not theirs. I saw it on my own. I'm embarrassed, or I don't know how. 

And I write all that up on board. The other day in Cairns at a young fellow who stood up and he talked about anxiety and how he feels, it can be a whirlwind for him, and in the past, he didn't know how to control it, but now he does, because he sees the counsellor. And then the second, another guy stood up and he talked about having a young child, and his partner's left him, and he's now a single dad who's trying to play professional football. And he turned to the guy next to him, he said, And, you know, in a time when I had nothing and it was so dark, you were the only one there for me, and then I really appreciate it. 

And... you know, there's a lot of emotion in the room. And... I asked him, What's it like? Boy, like this is incredible. We've never done this. It feels so powerful. There's respect. We can be vulnerable. We can be authentic. And then I put a slide up on the board that says, All of this excuses that people use around Australia or blokes use around Australia not share their emotions, which a lot of the time the same as what they said in the room. I don't want to be a burden. It's mostly not theirs or sorted on my own. I say, Boys, these are the excuses that we're using to not do what we just did. I said, Let's rewrite what it means to be a fella, to have a conversation. 

And I call up with two people who spoke, these two guys and said, Who feels burdened by what these guys shared? And, you know, guys said, Mate, I feel, I feel inspired by these fellas and Okay, who feels that they should do this on their own? So we go through and rewrite all of those, what it means to be great fellow and a great friend and and then from then on, it's, it's a couple more exercises, practicing those tools and skills and going deeper into it and just normalising these conversations.

Elaine Wziontek

So Tommy, we're running out of time, but your workshops, you have kids, you help... you help footballers and you... also go to business meetings.

Tommy Herschell 13:04

Yeah, we certainly do corporate organisations, come in and do a a 45 to an hour lunch presentation, which is awesome in the corporate setting. And then sporting team... so work with the Cronulla Sharks and St. George Dragons, Illawarra Dragons. Work with the Northern Pride up in Kansas, Queensland origin team, their junior teams, which is amazing. A lot of the great schools here in Sydney, their sporting teams, and then any school. So travelling from far western, New South Wales, as I mentioned, all around Australia. But I'm based in Sydney, and love to get to as many Sydney schools as possible. This is where my family is. So I love to be home as much as I can, but yeah, I travel all over.

Elaine Wziontek 13:43

Tommy, you're an inspiration, and I hope you can change hundreds of kids lives, and I'm sorry we've run out of time. So how can people get you along to the organisation? Is it findyafeet.org ?

Tommy Herschell 13:57

It is. It's findyafeet.org - but there's that, oh, then there's a contact page on the website. So that'd be amazing to have this. Support is incredible, and I really appreciate the platform you've given me as well and your time. So thank you very much. Thank you, Elaine.

Elaine Wziontek 14:12

And that was Tommy Herschell, a former Queensland primary teacher. And if you'd like to learn more about his organisation, it's find ya feet dot org.

Barbara Sullivan 14:29

You have just been listening to Ablequest, a program that looks at developments in assistive technology and initiatives. From Elaine Wziontek and Barbara Sullivan, thank you for listening and goodbye till next program.